Onus Probandi

Art has been quite prominent in the news recently, going right back to the dawn of time, an eminent Italian archaeologist has concluded from bone scrapings that cavemen would take time out from their busy schedule of staying alive and adorn themselves artistically with feathers. Academics often seem to take facts and bend them to their own theories. Obviously the feathers were not used for fletching then!
As we come forwards in time, mysterious symbols have been discovered by an eminent Italian archaeologist (wonder if it’s the same one?) under the paint of the Mona Lisa. He has concluded that these allude to the fact that the Mona Lisa is not only a man but one of Leonardo’s favourite students and lover. Again the possibility that Leonardo was working on an early Reeves paint by numbers has been dismissed out of hand.
Nearer in time still and gallery owners worry that Van Gogh’s yellow flowers are turning brown. Scientists have confidently stated that oxidation reduction is affecting the lead white that he mixed into the yellow flower petals. This is strange as academics have always professed that he used Chrome yellow which has a reputation to deteriorate over time and turn a dullish brown. My own theory is that (a) Van Gogh was poor. (b) His paintings contain an awful lot of yellow, therefore he used a cheap affordable bright yellow, so maybe he used one made from animal bile, gall stones or even lizard droppings. A good yellow could be obtained from Mango leaf fed cow’s urine. Mercury, egg yolk and arsenic could also be added to offer a little je ne sais quoi. Maybe it was licking his brush that caused him to cut his ear off.
And so we come to the present day, Graham Nash is carving trees with wonderfully expensive Sthil chainsaws whilst learned men ignore what his trees are really saying and artistically bend their charts to fit their own theories.
Fortunately, it will be some time before learned men discuss what I was really thinking as I worked. Like Van Gogh, I’m also working on flowers for my new book How to Paint Flowers in Acrylic for Search Press, but I’m fortunate these days that technology has advanced enough for me to feel confident when I mix my arylide yellow into my titanium white.
I've just finished travelling back down the dreaded M25 for the final three day photographic session. In early March I've got to tackle the dreaded tarmac again in May when I’m running a Leisure Painter acrylics workshop at the Weald of Kent craft show. My biggest worry here is that it’s Wills and Kate’s wedding on the 29th April and they’re encouraging street parties everywhere, so I’ll probably be zig-zagging through tables and drunken revellers as I travel along what is normally the largest car park in the world and will now be the longest street party in the world!
If you would like to join me on Monday May 2nd, there are still a few spaces left on my day which excitingly combines lovely loose acrylic ink washes over which heavy body acrylics are applied.
Check out the details in this month’s Leisure Painter or this Painters-online website